i am really blessed to have Madam as my boss... never expected that she is really an understanding boss. all the while i thought she is fierce and very sided one... but oh boy, was i wrong. she is really kind-hearted...
indeed, i supposed to pass the resign letter for her but it was reversed. after had a long chat, she asked me to keep back the letter and submit the leave letter instead. how happy i was when she mentioned it. i am touched and obviously blessed that i really have a such good boss.
it will be officially i start on leave for one month by next month to study centre's management which she allowed me to do so. at very least my existing job is here in case if anything happens, i still can go back to my current company to resume working as usual.
anyhow, i just hope the business is growing well once i take over. may everything is fine...
xxx
Friday, July 26, 2013
delay no more...
it seems delaying no more and my good colleague, WC asked me...
"have you told your hubby"
i replied, "NO, if i tell him now, there would be more objections, hence i just go ahead without his permissions..."
the time is tougher now and i knew the day would be coming...
today is public holiday yet we have to work. oh no, i can't delay anymore, i need to make up my mind by hand over the letter. the centre is awaiting me to join as soon as possible.
everything for the centre has done, just left me!!! a matter of timing!!!
looking at my close friends, they are really supporting my decision to join the centre, it is obviously no doubt for me to tender the resignation letter and starts a new life as a person in charge of the centre. yes i am... despite of my unhappy hubby who never agrees on whatever i have done, he can't stop me although he voiced out that i am selfish, never think about him, never discuss with him and etc but i can't take it anymore, if i want i must do for our better life.
otherwise, if i listen to my hubby today and don't go for it, i might be super regret 100% later on. okay, no matter what will happen later, i still determined to go for it...
i just pray HE blesses me in everything, have a surprise and miracle which would happen to me any sooner if the time permits.
i hope my family changes the mind on me... i am no longer who am i... i am the one who going to fight the own happiness and better life rather than remaining the same living where we are now...
i wanna the improvement of livings for my family as well as for my children.
because of i am able not providing whatever they want, now i wan provide them as much as i can once i have own one and i wanna give the best for my family and my siblings who always help me a lot in past, i will never forget their helps and supports. i will be there for them whenever they need.
okay what i need to do is i wanna to change the life into better one...
please...?!!
please give me the strength to change the life.... :)
and....
Madam came already but she went to R&D... :(
she seems busier than me though and i am wondering how would it be when i go to meet Madam out of sudden? perhaps she knew i wanna leaving already?
xxx
Thursday, July 25, 2013
oh dear... i am still hesitating - - -
for this very last minute, i still hesitated to hand over the letter although i have prepared the letter since on Monday until now... the letter is here but i am seem to be lost ways to think...
i started to recall the past when i was firm to fight my own and wanna leaving this company. i started to browse the business and etc... and i found the centre in Sri Petaling as i have mentioned in previous entry. oh well, i have the investor this time so i don't need to dig out my money to invest instead to wait the end of year's dividend...
but funnily is when everything is done as my cousin brother had got them done especially setting up SDN BHD, creating the company account and etc. i started to become PANIC...
the most funny when my brother was preparing a document, register as a SDN BHD company, has opened an account for the company. i suddenly felt uneasy and started to feel regret that i was mentally and physically not ready for this.
regret no use. this was already initiated. indeed it is...
the business is there...
just that i need to tender the resignation letter. but i still doubted till now...
weird.
i am so scared.
yet there are many friends support my decision to leave this company and heading the new phrase, starting a OWN business... i knew there's a lot of risks to wait but it's all depending on my hard works.
don't know if my decision to start own business is just right one for myself??!! because since day 1, when my cousin brother spoke with my hubby, he started feeling unhappy and upset, not fully supporting me 100% on my ideas on this. he kept talking that doing business is really a lot of risks and need a lot of responsible to handle this centre. not like me, he thought i am just a playful one... :(
i knew i am kinda playful one but when coming the serious matters, i thought longer and considered for our good futures. i knew there are SURE 100% ups and downs for this but for the very beginning, there are tougher times at time but everything would be fine eventually...
my closer members support me on this but i knew they only can support me and they are not doing this business though so they wouldn't understand how i feel... i am really scared, confused, uneasy and many many troubles in my mind now.... and i don't know how to overcome it...
unless there's at least a person to fully support me, but there's none.
my hubby is kinda "kiasu"... he can't accept the fact that i would start my own business. he totally disagreed. for sure.
my family?
i haven't informed them yet and i don't think they would support my decision... despite of they knew i am currently working still fine but they don't know the real situation that i have encountered now... who else can understand me?
even my hubby spoke, every business can't promise can success or not... every business has risks... but for me, if never try how i would know if it goes well?
like when i first time baked the cupcake, at beginning it was not so good but i polished my skills everyday by baking it, my skills seem to be polished well now... it's just the same basic where we need to apply our skills by practicing...
try and error, yes it is...
but now it's different...
i am about leaving the security job which promises to provide the monthly salary and living in the comfort zone. and IF i really leave this job and heading this business, it might be another story. my income might be lower than my current income and may be handling everything by myself. my current job, just design and design only. everything is already settled by them.
much differences...
so i have to think carefully but if i don't leave this job and remaining the same life style, there's no changes but getting worse years by...
why so?
our salaries really can't saved already, everything needs to be spent... so nothing left for us to save retirement accounts and i realized that our ages reach at 30an yet we have nothing to save for the future funds yet our children need use a lot of expenses to pay for their next educations eg. secondary, college or University?
that's the point i thought now...
i knew my hubby thought these too but he doesn't seem to try to make more money for now... i asked him once whether is he comfortable with his current job now? he said what to do, everywhere is same... the most important is getting the monthly salary. so do i too but i thought it is no longer working on this method because everyone like me thought to work for people can't be last forever unless the company really provides the good salary and benefits like my friend one now working in Indonesia. obviously he is traveling to every countries to work in construction field which sent by his HQ. his salary almost 50k per month... it's unbelievable and it's no doubt he is enjoying these benefits provided by his current company... the salary can cover his retirement days later. and he is not working in Malaysia though.
how wonderful he is now with this current job. and our salaries now really insufficient and i can't think where we could top up the financial for the end of month everytime we pay bills and etc...
i am going to crazy if this still keeping the same way...
no improvement at all. and my hubby likes to go luxury times such as catching up a movie, going to fast food and etc which i really wanna to cut down but can't...
*SIGHS*
so how?
i am dilemma now...
very very much....
*SAD*
life goes on anyway despite of there's no support from my close family for me.... especially my hubby, he is the most "kiasu" and coward...
:(
xxx
i started to recall the past when i was firm to fight my own and wanna leaving this company. i started to browse the business and etc... and i found the centre in Sri Petaling as i have mentioned in previous entry. oh well, i have the investor this time so i don't need to dig out my money to invest instead to wait the end of year's dividend...
but funnily is when everything is done as my cousin brother had got them done especially setting up SDN BHD, creating the company account and etc. i started to become PANIC...
the most funny when my brother was preparing a document, register as a SDN BHD company, has opened an account for the company. i suddenly felt uneasy and started to feel regret that i was mentally and physically not ready for this.
regret no use. this was already initiated. indeed it is...
the business is there...
just that i need to tender the resignation letter. but i still doubted till now...
weird.
i am so scared.
yet there are many friends support my decision to leave this company and heading the new phrase, starting a OWN business... i knew there's a lot of risks to wait but it's all depending on my hard works.
don't know if my decision to start own business is just right one for myself??!! because since day 1, when my cousin brother spoke with my hubby, he started feeling unhappy and upset, not fully supporting me 100% on my ideas on this. he kept talking that doing business is really a lot of risks and need a lot of responsible to handle this centre. not like me, he thought i am just a playful one... :(
i knew i am kinda playful one but when coming the serious matters, i thought longer and considered for our good futures. i knew there are SURE 100% ups and downs for this but for the very beginning, there are tougher times at time but everything would be fine eventually...
my closer members support me on this but i knew they only can support me and they are not doing this business though so they wouldn't understand how i feel... i am really scared, confused, uneasy and many many troubles in my mind now.... and i don't know how to overcome it...
unless there's at least a person to fully support me, but there's none.
my hubby is kinda "kiasu"... he can't accept the fact that i would start my own business. he totally disagreed. for sure.
my family?
i haven't informed them yet and i don't think they would support my decision... despite of they knew i am currently working still fine but they don't know the real situation that i have encountered now... who else can understand me?
even my hubby spoke, every business can't promise can success or not... every business has risks... but for me, if never try how i would know if it goes well?
like when i first time baked the cupcake, at beginning it was not so good but i polished my skills everyday by baking it, my skills seem to be polished well now... it's just the same basic where we need to apply our skills by practicing...
try and error, yes it is...
but now it's different...
i am about leaving the security job which promises to provide the monthly salary and living in the comfort zone. and IF i really leave this job and heading this business, it might be another story. my income might be lower than my current income and may be handling everything by myself. my current job, just design and design only. everything is already settled by them.
much differences...
so i have to think carefully but if i don't leave this job and remaining the same life style, there's no changes but getting worse years by...
why so?
our salaries really can't saved already, everything needs to be spent... so nothing left for us to save retirement accounts and i realized that our ages reach at 30an yet we have nothing to save for the future funds yet our children need use a lot of expenses to pay for their next educations eg. secondary, college or University?
that's the point i thought now...
i knew my hubby thought these too but he doesn't seem to try to make more money for now... i asked him once whether is he comfortable with his current job now? he said what to do, everywhere is same... the most important is getting the monthly salary. so do i too but i thought it is no longer working on this method because everyone like me thought to work for people can't be last forever unless the company really provides the good salary and benefits like my friend one now working in Indonesia. obviously he is traveling to every countries to work in construction field which sent by his HQ. his salary almost 50k per month... it's unbelievable and it's no doubt he is enjoying these benefits provided by his current company... the salary can cover his retirement days later. and he is not working in Malaysia though.
how wonderful he is now with this current job. and our salaries now really insufficient and i can't think where we could top up the financial for the end of month everytime we pay bills and etc...
i am going to crazy if this still keeping the same way...
no improvement at all. and my hubby likes to go luxury times such as catching up a movie, going to fast food and etc which i really wanna to cut down but can't...
*SIGHS*
so how?
i am dilemma now...
very very much....
*SAD*
life goes on anyway despite of there's no support from my close family for me.... especially my hubby, he is the most "kiasu" and coward...
:(
xxx
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
3 days to go...
my hubby was in Taiwan a few days ago which i had sent him to airport last Saturday... he is scheduled to come back this Thursday morning at 4am in wee hour, anyhow i shall fetch him back after 7am because it's not convenient to fetch him in wee hour plus the highway to airport is quite dark and quiet. it's not safe though for me to drive all alone with two growing-up children in the car...
oh well, just skip this topic, my hubby shall thinks how to get back to here without get me to drive there. kinda concerns the safety the most now as we all knew Malaysia safety is not proper to be handled as there are many cases to happen everyday.
oh well, as i have planned to have my own biz but it seems i even more doubt than being firm to make a decision and i knew i am totally a loser in this matter :(
i need someone to encourage and support me whenever i need the most for now...
please?!
worried, doubted, double thought and etc all happened to me...
but these are meaningless because i haven't started yet and haven't known the real result afterward...?
mmm...
how silly i am...
sighs...
xxx
oh well, just skip this topic, my hubby shall thinks how to get back to here without get me to drive there. kinda concerns the safety the most now as we all knew Malaysia safety is not proper to be handled as there are many cases to happen everyday.
oh well, as i have planned to have my own biz but it seems i even more doubt than being firm to make a decision and i knew i am totally a loser in this matter :(
i need someone to encourage and support me whenever i need the most for now...
please?!
worried, doubted, double thought and etc all happened to me...
but these are meaningless because i haven't started yet and haven't known the real result afterward...?
mmm...
how silly i am...
sighs...
xxx
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
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