for this very last minute, i still hesitated to hand over the letter although i have prepared the letter since on Monday until now... the letter is here but i am seem to be lost ways to think...
i started to recall the past when i was firm to fight my own and wanna leaving this company. i started to browse the business and etc... and i found the centre in Sri Petaling as i have mentioned in previous entry. oh well, i have the investor this time so i don't need to dig out my money to invest instead to wait the end of year's dividend...
but funnily is when everything is done as my cousin brother had got them done especially setting up SDN BHD, creating the company account and etc. i started to become PANIC...
the most funny when my brother was preparing a document, register as a SDN BHD company, has opened an account for the company. i suddenly felt uneasy and started to feel regret that i was mentally and physically not ready for this.
regret no use. this was already initiated. indeed it is...
the business is there...
just that i need to tender the resignation letter. but i still doubted till now...
weird.
i am so scared.
yet there are many friends support my decision to leave this company and heading the new phrase, starting a OWN business... i knew there's a lot of risks to wait but it's all depending on my hard works.
don't know if my decision to start own business is just right one for myself??!! because since day 1, when my cousin brother spoke with my hubby, he started feeling unhappy and upset, not fully supporting me 100% on my ideas on this. he kept talking that doing business is really a lot of risks and need a lot of responsible to handle this centre. not like me, he thought i am just a playful one... :(
i knew i am kinda playful one but when coming the serious matters, i thought longer and considered for our good futures. i knew there are SURE 100% ups and downs for this but for the very beginning, there are tougher times at time but everything would be fine eventually...
my closer members support me on this but i knew they only can support me and they are not doing this business though so they wouldn't understand how i feel... i am really scared, confused, uneasy and many many troubles in my mind now.... and i don't know how to overcome it...
unless there's at least a person to fully support me, but there's none.
my hubby is kinda "kiasu"... he can't accept the fact that i would start my own business. he totally disagreed. for sure.
my family?
i haven't informed them yet and i don't think they would support my decision... despite of they knew i am currently working still fine but they don't know the real situation that i have encountered now... who else can understand me?
even my hubby spoke, every business can't promise can success or not... every business has risks... but for me, if never try how i would know if it goes well?
like when i first time baked the cupcake, at beginning it was not so good but i polished my skills everyday by baking it, my skills seem to be polished well now... it's just the same basic where we need to apply our skills by practicing...
try and error, yes it is...
but now it's different...
i am about leaving the security job which promises to provide the monthly salary and living in the comfort zone. and IF i really leave this job and heading this business, it might be another story. my income might be lower than my current income and may be handling everything by myself. my current job, just design and design only. everything is already settled by them.
much differences...
so i have to think carefully but if i don't leave this job and remaining the same life style, there's no changes but getting worse years by...
why so?
our salaries really can't saved already, everything needs to be spent... so nothing left for us to save retirement accounts and i realized that our ages reach at 30an yet we have nothing to save for the future funds yet our children need use a lot of expenses to pay for their next educations eg. secondary, college or University?
that's the point i thought now...
i knew my hubby thought these too but he doesn't seem to try to make more money for now... i asked him once whether is he comfortable with his current job now? he said what to do, everywhere is same... the most important is getting the monthly salary. so do i too but i thought it is no longer working on this method because everyone like me thought to work for people can't be last forever unless the company really provides the good salary and benefits like my friend one now working in Indonesia. obviously he is traveling to every countries to work in construction field which sent by his HQ. his salary almost 50k per month... it's unbelievable and it's no doubt he is enjoying these benefits provided by his current company... the salary can cover his retirement days later. and he is not working in Malaysia though.
how wonderful he is now with this current job. and our salaries now really insufficient and i can't think where we could top up the financial for the end of month everytime we pay bills and etc...
i am going to crazy if this still keeping the same way...
no improvement at all. and my hubby likes to go luxury times such as catching up a movie, going to fast food and etc which i really wanna to cut down but can't...
*SIGHS*
so how?
i am dilemma now...
very very much....
*SAD*
life goes on anyway despite of there's no support from my close family for me.... especially my hubby, he is the most "kiasu" and coward...
:(
xxx
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