a little reunited...

after two days i NEVER bothered to send messages or calling him whereabout he was, he got nervous and sent messages thru whatsapp... saying wanted a divorce since he thought i never cared him at all after he was missing on Saturday night where we was on the way to my nephew birthday party and he stepped out from my car out-sudden during waiting the traffic light, of course it was near my house...

he was in anger mode and i sent message also never replied...

oh well... that was FINE... i never bothered even if he didn't come home that night after i came back from party until next day... we never went out on that day, i also never locked the house. just let him come back if he wants BUT he never came back... after whole Sunday, that made me pissed off in meanwhile i felt peace without him around... so did my kids too...

- - - no screams, no arguments, no long face - - - 

until that evening when i was having the dinner with my children that time about 6.45pm... he sent messages thru whatsapp to my daughter first and asking her...

"if dad and mum separate, who would u choose?..."

and my daughter refused to reply... she went to tell me about this because she was speechless... she spoke that she wanted to follow me...

at same time, my hubs sent whatsapp messages to me...

he said since he knew my heart is only for my family... my family is my first priority, he doesn't see where is he in my heart... i was speechless because this is a small issue, of course i care my family as well as my own family too...

and he doesn't see i really care him as a husband... if i still behave like that, no point to stay together, he requested for a divorce, all things included the house would be given to me because he said it's useless for him, he is willing to move back to hometown and allowing the children to be with me here... so etc...

*speechless*

he dared to say these????!!!!!

how stupid eh! VERY CHILDISH!!!!!!!

i tell you...

in many years... i never mention this word "DIVORCE" with him even a single... although i did complain and even wishing to divorce with him lar but i never mention this to him by face to face... all was from my heart talks... BUT all these years ONLY he was the one who always mentioning the DIVORCE word... this really challenged my patiences but i was still rational and reason-ing with him when he requested to divorce... and i couldn't find what's my faults on this and he said i still don't know what had i done????!!

ridiculous???!!!

oh well, this time i just let it go... won't calculate with him on this issue but i won't allow the divorce goes beyond the mind of mine... never... and i don't do any wrongs now. and my children could be my witness of all incidents... 

such as when we were on window-shopping, and suddenly he was so angry, leaving us alone at mall just like that... not first time, many times already and i still patient... very patient....

i recalled about 9 years ago where we were at KLCC on end of year, we had a terrible argument and i can't remember what was it about and he was losing temper, he threw the stroller on the escalator during we got down to ground... everyone looked at us... very embarrassing... not only that, when we were at out of KLCC, were at park near lake... he just walked away, left me and my little daughter that time was 2 years old along with taking the stroller all alone... that was an unforgettable and unhappy memory and i really feel upset everytime i recall although it was past... but i still can't forget it though until now...

and a few years back when we argued, i ran back to my dad house overnight... and next morning we went home, guess what? he LOCKED the house and never allowed us to go in!!!!!

you say???

he was VERY CHILDISH yet he said i am problematic??? please looks at this latest case, when he was missing... i NEVER LOCKED the house!!!!!! he can come home anytime he wants...

who is childish? how stupid!

oh well, all these years, did i do terrible actions like him? NO...

he is very selfish and ego! never admits on what he has done to me and our children... yet i still can take it on account of long term period that we have been together and our children are already growing up...

can't imagine how much unhappiness things that i have been gone thru...

there was once we had very bad argument until wanna divorce, all was he started one that time he was a full time freelancer... we fought until i got bruised here and there and he seldom came home. he was staying at his friend's house as he was working as freelancer with them that time in SS2...

i told my hubs's sisters and they couldn't help me because they couldn't listen to my side one, they needed to listen to my hubs's side as well but it didn't help at all but causing the situation even worse. oh well never mind... 

that time he was a full time freelancer and i was working with a low salary yet i never complained. i tried my best to cover every expenses even though that time he always wanted to go out shopping and dining out... never knew about my financial... i even never cared about my dignity to borrow money from my sister or my friends when i was out of money... 

so many things i have been gone through... and i think not many people would understand either my hardships or my feelings that time... all i endured myself alone, very suffering... even my parents and my siblings also unhappy for me because i have a terrible husband!

not that he was terrible... he did care this family but his attitudes, characters and manners were that really worse that normal people... even during courtship, i was his then girlfriend also never had such happy memories like another couples... never went for movies, never went to celebrate, never got any presents... and worse still he never wished me on my birthday.... 

there was a few occasions during CNY a few years ago, we supposed to go have dinner with my family... he always showed unhappy and long face... refused to go out... argued... until i really beh tahan... called my brother for a help... and he asked my sister to fetch us since my hubs refused to go and even closed my brother's call... very rude lar you know???

i really beh tahan when he said i got problems but he never knew he also has his own problems of himself as well??? very stupid!

this also can't blamed me 100% on all these matters and he is at least very LUCKY already because i am the one who willing to stay with his side for all these years despite of knowing he is really a terrible guy!

he just didn't know how to appreciate... i knew this!!! *long sighs, he needs a lesson!! serious!!! face-palm*

that was terrible eh?

oh well... that was past and now he still remains the same, just that he changed little by little, that doesn't mean he is a fully good man but he needs to study himself as well BUT he won't study himself, always put all faults to me!!!

something's wrong, he sure scolds me like that... shoot me here and there... i really beh tahan and whenever he is wrong, I CAN'T SCOLD OR SHOOT HIM OTHERWISE HE IS EVEN ANGRIER THAN ME... 

funny eh? not logical at all eh?

i don't know what does he think????!!!

even worse, he sent messages - - -  after we divorce, one day if u get a BF u will know the answer from your BF.. all problems also from you...

i was speechless! he thinks all problems were from me?

ok fine... i still accept whatever he said...

just take it as a challenge for this time...

wait and see...

who is worse who is terrible??!!!

you all can judge this!


oh well, we reunited already after he refused to tell me whereabout he was and i never forced him... then eventually he told me where was he now...

see???


he was the winner this time eh?

oh well...

as i spoke earlier, wait and see...


xxx