i miss him :(

it has been a week since i last received his mail... i replied to him for 2nd replies but he didn't reply.

long sighs...

i miss him indeed...

goshh...

xxx

there will be end of month soon...

today is 30th March... tomorrow would be 31st March... the time flies so fast eh?

i recalled how much i have done for this month?

too much wasteful things eh?

hmm...

in fact, i have planned something but i feel like something pushes me or something stops me...

regarding the house purchasing, i guess it is almost completed by now after gone thru so many things in this month... my hubs had just withdrew his EPF fund a few days ago after we applied it. but i haven't got any approval from KWSP for the EPF fund?

weird... just let wait another few days...

now we wait for Juru Nilai's documents as well as Public Bank lawyer documents.

still need to wait another 1-2 months to get our own dream house very soon... yay!!!!


xxx

Saturday Blues

i am working today and after work, we need to go back his hometown for Ching Ming, but now the plan is changed because my hubs's 2nd sister called and asked him to fetch her from Malacca to hometown all together, because she spoke that she lazy to drive all alone to hometown. and my car is small. not fit for 5 people including his sister. and his sister also spoke that we have to fetch her back to Malacca on Sunday evening as well... how trouble eh?

my hubs knew i am unhappy about it but he can not do anything. i just remain silent since that's his family. just do whatever he wants. i don't care already!

hmm...

don't know how to explain further comments about this. anyway, i just hope there are no more troubles created to me and my kids. that's all...

one more thing, i found my hubs is super childish!!!!!

i didn't say anything though when he spoke that he needs to fetch his sister back later and he was throwing his anger at me out sudden at Skype. he shot me that whatever i did for my family, he never said anything...

Fxxx!

didn't say anything????? please recall carefully whatever u have done / spoken to me*

especially every Saturdays i go to my daddy house or accompany my sister, he would complains and creates troubles more than me... refuses to talk with me and etc... my kids know about it... i really beh tahan with him already!!!!

how silly eh!

i hate this feeling!!

xxx

regret or not?

before it... i was about looking for a business or set up a very own business in small size... and now i found two businesses. one in Sri Petaling and one in Puchong. both are the child care. since that Sri Petaling refused to sell me due to the financial tight, hence the Puchong one still wanted to sell me despite to know my financial tight and knowing how much loving and caring i am toward the children.

she spoke if i love and care the children beyond the limits, the parents and the staffs will look and respect me even more.

this is what i thought but this is doing the speak not to act... suddenly flashed in my mind, felt much regrets now... found it and almost about buying the business but now i am totally not ready for it... :(

don't know what is up to me now...

because, the Puchong child care one had been stopped operating about 3-4 months ago due to difficult travel between two places eg. Rawang and Puchong. and she feels it's too wasteful to leave the childcare centre with everything ready just like that, hence she looks for someone who can take over this centre. that's all.

in meanwhile, i need to start all over again eg. renew the license, marketing the centre to get children, and etc... i admit i am sooo stressed about this...

:(

don't know whether am i regret?

how silly eh?

xxx

a little mistake!

i am not happy...

oh well why so?

i was about to check my Microsoft Outlook aka Hotmail earlier... wanna see if Mr Lai is replying or not.

but he didn't instead of i did a little mistake!!! i deleted the SENT MESSAGE's mail.

one of them.

Oh NO... *slap my forehead*

and it is gone!

:(

i tried to recover the deleted messages back but it didn't work out!!!!!!

awww... my heart is broken!

anyway, this little mistake may realizes me something...

perhaps it's a fate between me and him?

but i remember what did i write for him in replying. not sure whether is it accurately like what i had written? unless he is still keeping the replied one? perhaps he deleted? mmm...


" 25th March 2013 :: please don't call me Madam... it sounds awful... yeah will definitely bake for you lar. if you come back. btw, the pix is being here quite sometimes, supposed to send you last year but i didn't. 
i send to you lar.

in the future, you will get older like this pix, Mr Santa Lai :)

hehe

*burst into laughter happily*

take care! "



like this, i don't mention any names of us in mail since he called me MADAM in awful sound eh?!!!

indeed, i miss him :(

blehhh...


xxx

I Run To You ♥

i really love this song although i can't listen... but i feel the song from my bottom of heart :)


She says her love for me could never die
But that'd change if she ever found out about you and I
Oh, but her love is cold
It wouldn't hurt her if she didn't know, 'cause...
When it gets too much
I need to feel your touch
I'm gonna run to you
I'm gonna run to you
'Cause when the feelin's right I'm gonna run all night
I'm gonna run to you
She's got a heart of gold she'd never let me down
But you're the one that always turns me on
You keep me comin' 'round
I know her love is true
But it's so damn easy makin' love to you
I got my mind made up
I need to feel your touch
I'm gonna run to you
Yeah, I'm gonna run to you
'Cause when the feelin's right I'm gonna stay all night
I'm gonna run to you
Yeah, I'm gonna run to you
Oh when the feelin's right I'm gonna run all night
I'm gonna run to you



* picked from Bryan Adams's song "Run To You" Lyrics ♥

Wordless Wednesday - Quote

what meaning of "DEAR"...?

sometimes i like to call people "Dear" without realizing it. it could drives people to get misunderstand of me. sometimes people thought i try to flirt or etc... :(

don't know how true it is but sometimes i fancy to call people dearly which means i care everyone for sure :)

let me share some meanings of DEAR...

what say you?


xxx

just a thought...

sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they are meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you to figure out who you are or who you want to be? you will never know those people either, perhaps your roommate? neighbour? coworkers? long lost friend? lover? or even strangers that you encounter...? but once you lock eyes with them, you will know at that time they might affect your life in some profound ways....

and it happens to you sometimes that may be seem horrible, painful and unfair at first foundation but when looks at the reflection, you would realize that without overcome those obstacles you would have realized about yourself in many ways like potential, strength, willpower, heart or mindset?

everything happens for a reason.

nothing happens by chances or by means of lucks?

the people you meet who would affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience help you to create who you are now. 

every bad experiences can be learned from there... 

if someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, please forgive them! 

because without their helps, you might not learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. 

if there's someone loves you, please love them back unconditionally, this is not because how they love you, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things in ways.

make it every day count! please appreciate every moment and take from those moments that you have created possibly because you may not experience the same thing again in the future... 

talk to people that you never talked to before, and it's actually to listen. let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. hold your head up and tell yourself that you have the right to do so.

believe yourself that you are great. otherwise it's hard for others to believe in you. you can make of your life anything you wish.

create a life of your own and go for it... live with it without absolutely no regrets :) 

these are what i really love to read... i picked them from some where from the magazine or true story. just a sharing because i myself also need to learn how to live on the earth despite of struggling the poor life... :)

good sharing?

hope they help! 

xxx

 

another Tuesday Blues - - -

Good Morning Tuesday Blues... lolx

though i feel sleepy throughout the raining last night, it was colder even than usual. i don't feel like wanna to get up from my bed :)

so what shall i do with my blogs apart from sharing about my personal life? shall i share everything and anything except my personal life? yay... i am kinda of open-minded person :)

let's share some new things of today?

:)

stay tuned... ♥


xxx

pissed off...

what a Monday Blues, i really pissed off not only with my sister, but everything...

firstly, i wanted to buy the child care centre which is located at Sri Petaling and the owner refused to sell me to know my tight financial and she needs to settle down already after her 3rd operations which is scheduled by today. i just found the post which she re-posted again on last Saturday. i texted her on next day after she re-posted. she apologized and telling me everything. i have no further comments, this is her decision, so up to her, i can't force her although i really keen it...

2ndly, i am very upset with Miss L already... her attitudes really drove me NUTS at times but i just "tahan" because i treat her as a friend not only as a colleague, but she likes to argue with me for a small issue which another people would let it go as we shall update for next publish but she can't take it anymore... this is her problem... as i knew everyone feels peace when Miss L is not around for a week... xoxo

yay, school holiday starts already... wondering where shall we bring the children going to have fun?
i realize that since when we last visited to Genting Highlands? :)

3rdly,  i argued with my ex-colleague, Mr CY thru Skype .. his attitudes really drove me NUTS! made me pissed off with him so much... brainless guy!!! spoiled my day!

4thly, i committed a little sin... i miss another guy apart from my hubs... *faint* oh well, not first time... i started to admire him since secondary school... i think this is a normal thing? perhaps it is...? :)

5thly, my sister...? her manager?? how i suppose to mention here? his non-genuine actions causes the troubles created today between me and my sister... but i can't fully blame her manager though because i was the one who shared my things with him. and he gonna telling my sister about it...  sighs! *face palm* and now i don't know already how to solve this problem? i fed up with my sister and don't feel wanna see her anymore! pissed off!!!

6thly, i feel tired with my current job now... sometimes feel like wanna quit... and chase my dreams :)

can i?



xxx

i hate to cry in front of someone!

I hate myself - - -

I hate myself for doing my own mistakes...

and I can’t make it right...

I hurt people but I don’t notice it, What a DAMN huh?

yay I know I am...

you don’t need to tell me.

But I am happy to be one of the DAMMNEST person in
the world coz I just realize I learned to be a DAMN strong.


xxx

i become sandwich

hmm... regarding about the family issue, who else i could say apart from my dear sister? i am the eldest sister yet i am called as a brainless sister that don't know how to protect myself as well as another people.

this is not the first time such this thing happened like today. in the past, it had happened already. i am not a busybody person but i am kinda of straight-forward person who would share everything and anything without the doubts. hmm... don't know whether am i useless?

hmm... why?

my sister doesn't like i mention anything and everything she involves as it's her personal life and i don't touch her things though but i never knew her manager is that kinda of person who would spreads the news that i had shared with him recently.

i thought a businessman should be a genuine in everything and anything he does, but her manager is on the other hand, he likes to poke and spread the news to people who is not related on this issue...

when i learned this earlier, i really wanna faint already.

and i just reminded him earlier that no need to tell my sister and her colleagues as well but now i got words from my sister, sounds like i dragged into this SHIT... :(

i am kinda upset for my sister because she doesn't respect me as a sister and i knew she doesn't care whatever i do or talk to whoever but she just bears in her mind that i shall not involve her in my issue...

how ridiculous! sometimes she is kinda selfish and over-protective toward herself.

sighs...

not first time it happened...

she always scolds me many times for no reasons...

i really put on everything she did...

sometimes i fed up with her. not only her, my brother too...

too ambitious, too aggressive...

i am tired with my siblings though i love them dearly... but their attitudes really made me feel pissed off sometimes...

oh well, just words...

xxx

Saturday Rantings...

as i spoke in previous entry about my childish hubs? i went to visit my daddy, totally ignored him for sure but i spoke that i would come back in 2 hours time...

and i kept my words, we came back about 1.30pm that time and he was sleeping there... we all knew he was sick but hello, he was really crazy, i tell u. he was making slight troubles. when we reached home, i was immediately to feed him with a congee since he refused to consume when we were leaving earlier. i told my daddy about it. yeah we all thought he is really childish! wanted me to be with his side but he is an adult now?

sighs, i really wanted to faint! he even cursed that next time if i am sick he wouldn't be there for me. i don't care because i never request him to be with me because i can take care myself well! how childish he is eh?

then after he consumed the congee that i boiled for him, he spoke that he wanted to catch up a movie with us?

we all surprised... even my daughter said why daddy sick still wants to go out?

i was speechless but i didn't want further comment though, just let him be...

i was driving that day, headed to Paradigm Mall, buying "The Croods" movie tickets.

but we didn't buying the 3D. normal movie will do. this movie was really nice, my kids were enjoying this movie :)

my hubs still fought for his illness (his running nose and cough) throughout the shops... *faint*

after the dinner, we left quickly because our son was felt sleepy as well as i wanted hubs to get some rest too!

don't know how to explain but this was slightly silly of my hubs! when sick supposed to rest more but he didn't...



xxx

i dreamed of him...?

this is really strange of mine...

since i found he had removed his FB account, i have been slightly crazy. Oh NO... this can't happen!

okay, as i spoke, i got no idea how to contact him... thus, i tried to email him as i have his email in my MSN list. i was trying... no harm at all right? either he replies or not is fine. just a try.

i wrote ::

"hey dear xxxxx (his full name)... what's up to you lately? everything is fine with you?"

i never expected on next day he replied me!

but ... that's really awful when he called me in as "Madam xxx (my surname)"...

i was like "OH Shit"... hehe...

he just spoke that next time we meet again, he hopes i bring some baked goodies for him...

i knew it and i already promised myself to bake some for him since i didn't get the chance to bake for him last year... too bad!

see he is doing fine there, i could have less worried by now...

though i miss him...

and...

i dreamed of him yesterday... this is really another strange thing that i have encountered!

how to explain the dream i encountered?

hmm...

"we were in a somewhere like hotel or apartment? my late mummy was there... she spoke with him as well as me... i lived with him in a room like a couple??"

can't be certain though but it's just a dream as i mentioned... but i really enjoyed that dream throughout the night. hehe... like i didn't want to wake up for the reality! okay i still need to back where i live in the reality though the dream is just a dream... nothing is impossible!

oh well, it's Monday Blues though...

i can have a peace life now without Miss L around. yay!!!

xxx

wtf! he behaves very childishly!!!

I am off today, supposed to go to my daddy house as usually but i found that my hubs is not going to work as he is sick. He went to consult with the doctor. I told my hubs that we go to father house later when he reached home earlier. He looked dissatisfied and scolding me that he is sick and i rather go to my daddy house instead of taking care him. Hello... i am going to visit my daddy only and bring some lunch food for him as we had spoken yesterday. But my hubs spoke that next time i am sick, he would not take care me like what i did today... but i did cook some congee for him before i leave. He refuses to consume. Not my fault though. I find he is really childish at his age now. Really disgusting ways he behaves!!!! Not matured at all. To know i am going to visit my daddy, he doesn't allow? I realize at times he may not fancy on my family indeed. Never appreciated on whatever my family did... anyway, i just feel blessed and thankful for my family would be there whenever i need at times. How stupid of my hubs especially my brother has helped him alot but never demands but hubs never felt grateful instead if getting everything done and returning back whatever we owed but my brother wouldn't urge us. He just hopes we all live happily. Not like his sisters, whatever they pay, we should pay back. Otherwise, not at all.

Never mind. Whatever it is...

Sighs...

I fed up...

Until when he could fully understand??? He keeps blaming me in many things. It seems everything he do is right and i am wrong.

Fyi, he is having a running nose and cough but he still can walk like usual. So he is not weak until needs someone to be with him... sighs...

Anyway i just go to visit my dad for a while.

xxx

another 5 months to go...

Suddenly I realized that today is 22nd March, another 5 months to go for Lev's birthday but he's no longer there... I wonder how would i wish him? I still remember i did wish him on first year after we met at FB in year 2010 but he didn't response. The following two years, I don't wish him at all because he never contacts me until last year in December which fell on Mayan New Year, he started to message me at FB... we thought we were missing in action each other... mmm...

Oh well, i do miss him now and wondering how's he there? But i think i am not the most important to him, perhaps he doesn't miss me... or may be a little? Even after we met? So? Nothing at all?? Hmm... how ridiculous eh? :(

xxx

half day

today i will be on half day... got things to do later. oh well, the office environment seems too boring! and i am still moody... hehe, it's okay. i will getting better later :)

i don't need to cheer up everyone for sure! because it's none of my business and i don't care whatever Miss L does, wasting the time only. i could only ignore her since she is really problematic! she said everyone has a brain problem whilst she is super good. i really fed up with ways she spoke. not only me, everyone knew but just "layan" jee...

oh well...


xxx

a sweet story although it's just a time ♥

just found that my favourite dimple guy had removed his FB and everything that i could not find anymore... thought what had happened? we are barely talking each other on the cyber... i seldom know about what happens to him but whatever it is... i still care him as a dear friend who i used to like in the past and the present as well although in fact everything is changed... i mean our status are different already. i am attached whilst he is still hunting for the right one.... still we are friends what... i don't know if he really treats me as a friend or not...?

oh well... i admit i always check on his FB updates, love to do so... but his FB remains quiet... not much active as mine... a day before yesterday, his FB was there... just checking instantly but nothing was updated apart from the breakfast link that he invited one but none replied him... i just ignored this part since i am not living in US though... mmm...

and yesterday... when i went to his page but it didn't appear... i found this was strange? i tried to open his page but can't... then only i realized he was totally removed his FB account for goods. i was real shocking for this. why he removed? tried to recall any reasons... at first i saw his innocent picture, i told him this was real cute because he looked innocent in this picture and he laughed, mentioned that we shall meet again later this year... and onward, he removed all the profile picture except the dull picture which he looked unhappy in black and white mode...

and NOW, he is not longer at FB account, i don't know how to find him or contact him? i also not sure he keeps my number in case he wants to contact me? i am sure he would not keeps one! perhaps because he refused to give me his US number when i requested that time... :(

i still remember vividly when i found him in FB for first time was in November 2009, it was 4 years ago... then had spoke on and off... and he barely spoke to me until last year which was on Mayan New Year, he contacted me back thru FB message. we spoke thru FB as well as SMS which was given by him. that was a Malaysia number NOT US number... :( he used this number temporarily only. not for permanent one.

oh well, we met for first time, at Setia Walk by 9am sharp after 6 days from the date we first spoke. he wore the Red shirt and white short pant, brown shoes whilst i wore the baby blue dress which he said this was really nice.

*source - Starbuck Setia Walk*

:: memory :: memory ::

that was where he waited

for me... ♥

yay the Starbuck where we met.... everytime i passby there, i will miss that memory where we had created the memories once. although it was just a short time but still i had fun with him but i didn't know whether was he fun with me or not... whatever was it... i still appreciate those times with him... although for first time and perhaps it would be the last time as well because he removed the FB account and i thought he would not keeping his words to meet me again later this year... perhaps. in fact when he spoke that he would meet me again later this year, i even prepare to bake the cheddar cheese cake for him when he is back to Malaysia... BUT now it may not happens anymore...

the memory just fades away...

he is not there anymore...

i am really upset with him...

even he wanna removes his FB account, at least he should speaks or informs me and i could have his contact number so on... but he never did so...

now i totally lost, don't know how to contact him again...

sometimes i really miss when he texted me by calling me the full name of mine... i felt warm and loving.

i think he should knows i am used to crazy of him during secondary school and now... but he seems ... i don't know how to explain but i really want to get together with him for once... love is hard to predictable but if i don't do now, i shall get regret later on...

but now, i think i don't need these anymore since he doesn't appreciate everything we created and i guess he thought this was just a meeting between strangers.

oh well, just ignore... i still appreciate and will miss him as well as the memories we had created ONCE and the ONLY MEMORY! after 10 years plus since we left secondary school... i have been looking for him ups and downs... eventually i found him 4 years ago in FB. i was thankful to Facebook because it helped me to contact him back BUT now he is not longer there...

i don't know if it's worth that i had created the memories with him once? sounds funny and awful!

never mind, i think he just needs times and spaces for him alone... i just could give him blessings and hope he takes well care of himself and happy everyday!

Lev, I miss you... take care!

xxx

the dimple guy removed... :(

As usually, i would follow up the updates of my favourite dimple guy earlier... i found that his FB is freshly removed... totally disappears!!! Tried to look for him but i thought he must removed everything about him in FB... not sure whats the reason this time but i really upset because he never talks or informs me before removing his FB and now i am totally lost idea how to contact him... :(

Out-sudden, i really miss him already... i think last year may be our first n last meeting... in the future it would not happen again although he mentioned that we shall meet again later this year... don't know how true it is and even worse i don't have his contact!!! How to meet again...

:(

Wordless Wednesday - Quote ♥

craving for the red bean dessert ♥

a whole busy day, suddenly i recall the red bean when my colleague mentioned... she supposed to give me but didn't give me until now and yet i feel so craving of red bean dessert, i plan to get the red bean boiled soon...

*source*

i wonder when was the last time i had the red bean dessert? i think maybe a few months back? can't remember but i really crave for the red bean... hehe... yummy!

okay, never mind if she doesn't give, i can get them boiled later for myself rather than waiting for nothing plus the time is 4.40pm by now... ain't it late now?

red bean....

xxx

Monday Blues

yay it's Monday Blues anyway, but... i finally crushed my Candy Crush Saga at Level 23 yesterday night after tried and error for a week plus... swt!!!! *happy dance* hehe... do u notice that this game is really challenging my patiences... hehe... don't know how true it is but my patiences really gonna mad when i couldn't break the hardest level.

*mad like cow*

anyway it's over, now is another level 28 where i am now, oh NO... another hard level again :(

i am really hell busy today. not only rushing the magazine, i also need to do another jobs for another company... :(

what a Monday Blues...

xxx

A Boring Saturday

yes i am working today but it's boring... Oh NO...

i have been playing the Candy Crush Saga these few weeks until level 23 where i couldn't fully crushed the jellies :(

* source *

don't know where's wrong. either am i stupid or the candy tricks me? hmm....

i tried sooo hard until i went mad like cow! hehe... oh well most of my siblings and friends had passed to the highest levels whilst i stuck there still at level 23... and i googled about Candy Crush Saga at level 23, many people commented that level 23 is so hard to crushed indeed... not me stupid eh?

hmm... okay, i shall try it again later since my colleague has taught me something about Candy Crush Saga level 23 where the sugar meets with the striped sugar become exploded so hard compared to a colorful chocolate? wondering it is???

hmm...

xxx

back to work after a hiatus - - -

i have been on MC these 2 days. and i am back to working life as usually although it's a Friday Blues! hmm... sometimes i feel this company is like a Zombie house where nobody greets each other. indeed, i miss my previous first company where i worked for first time after moved to here from Johor 9 years ago. that time i was a full time housewife in Johor and i was indeed unhappy every second, minute, month and year when i was in Johor after married and had my first child. we had argued almost everyday due to this reason which i spoke out that i wanna move back to where i was born and grew up, there's my hometown where i have my family, friends and life there not in Johor! *sorry to say this, this is from my bottom of heart, i never thought to stay in Johor forever...*

okay back to the topic i mentioned earlier... i have been working here for 2 years plus... this coming August sooner, it would be 3 years. the time flies so fast and there's nothing to be challenged all the years i work here and i feel boring and not so energetic as before.  of course, the projects keep repeating  the same, no shiok at all de...

so far, i speak frankly. here is can be said okay lor, compared to the previous one before i started to join this current company. the previous one where i worked in Bandar Kinrara, near Giant but it was in industrial area, i don't want to tell the name of company because i don't want to bad mouth about this. enough to say for now. i had a bad experience during working at my previous company. bosses and manager were so biassed. they cared one more than everyone although the mad dog i meant was the manager always screamed madly during working times and even screamed in the phone...

we all were really pissed off with her but at times she is a kinded heart, just that she and i were not that so "ngam"... hard to communicate each other. not only this problem, i also had a bad experience to encounter everyone in the company. everyone was so hypocrite and pretending to be nice with me but back of the story was different, it was like i was stabbed behind without my realization! damn eh?

no longer after few months after i was assigned to work here, i tendered a resignation letter and everyone seemed to be happy. so bye to that previous company! i don't want to mention some more about that company. pissed off though eh?

okay, since i joined this current company 2 years ago, so far everything is okay. just that there's still a slightly politic each other! i don't trust most of them because once i was stabbed, i knew who's the culprit and won't longer socialize with them anymore, i keep low profile and doing my works at times is better than gossiping that waste my time only. agree?

okay, definitely not all colleagues are meant to do so, certain people only yeah!

close one eye, everything is fine :)

xxx

What A Sunday!

the husband really had a bad tempered today! he even screamed at me in front of the children in the car during on the way back home right after the lunch nearby. i really pissed off with his attitudes when i was speaking that he wanted to buy another fish this morning? and now he refused to buy, even said NEVER BUY since all fishes were died.

i really beh tahan for now... his attitudes really drove me to wall at times yet i am still bear with it. i won't argue with him or what. because that's not appropriate to argue during he drove car. his attitudes could be crazy! i am worried about my kids's safety only NOT him ok.

oh well, he told our children that the mummy is really stingy but in fact, he is more stingy than me. as i spoke in previous entries, he never contributed any for our children yet he dares to say me stingy?

okay, yesterday he whatsapp-ed me that he wanted to go for a movie with me and the children later, i asked who pays? if he pays then we would be fine to catch a movie with him... BUT he said we both are paying half each other... WTF, i don't want and sorry, as i said this time is not appropriate to catch a movie anyway because i had spent so much money for this month! apart for the new house, i also needed to contribute another things. now i haven't settled for my children and mine's policies as well as the car installment plus i owed with my friend for E-excel products. i can't imagine if every month it goes the same, i am doomed for sure.

oh well, my current job really couldn't give me any future promising and i don't know how long i shall work for this current company plus my company will have the convention very soon in 3 months time and i don't think i would work on this anyway. these bosses never give me any chances to show off though so what? okay, i think this job is just fine for me to stay up for a whole day with a fixed salary which would be gone in 1 week after salaried for every 1st of monthly... it sounds terrible eh?

yeah as i spoke about the childcare? i have visited both of childcares. one in Puchong and another one in Sri Petaling. Puchong one, is quite big and very spacious but it had stopped operating for 3 months ago due the owner moved to Rawang, it's kinda difficult for her to daily travel both destinations. whilst, another one in Sri Petaling, it's still operating with 20 children for now, the owner wants to look for someone that could take care her business as she is ill... she has just discharged a week ago, she doesn't want to work too tiring plus her husband wants her to rest longer period. she in fact had twice times for operations, she might have another operation again in a week of next? maybe? i forgot... but she is indeed ill.

the Sri Petaling  childcare one is very nice design, everything is well-built and ready to operate. that means the income still continues after i take over, i say perhaps i will...? this is all up to the owner is willing to sell me or not. even now i just sent a message to her that i am really interested to... and i got no replies from her. perhaps she thought i am still not fit for this business though :(

never mind... the chances are always there, just that i want to chase my dreams for sure :)

as for Puchong childcare? it's totally empty, if i start with that, i need to start all over again. both childcare prices also same... so what say you?

i really am scared about the risk yet i wanted to start my own business so much. the Sri Petaling owner even asked me to discuss with my husband about this but i don't think this is a good idea as my husband has no patience at all and is not good socialize with small children, even his own children also can't. i spoke once, his pattern of teaching the children is really totally wrong! he always whacks and beats the children if something's wrong. how terrible eh? otherwise, how he becomes a husband and father?? i find this is really ridiculous though for a man like him... *touch woods*

so?

i choose to settle my own rather than rely or listen to him... after all, he is kiasu more than me. indeed.

i wonder how long i could bear with him? his attitudes really worse now. he never respects me as a wife indeed.

oh well, never mind.

time will tell everything...

xxx

he is very kiasu

my hubby and i had a conversation earlier, found he is really kiasu though!!!!

he said if not for my brother's supports, until now he will never buys the house!

you say? he really kanasai, i tell you! but i am glad that he finally bought the house due the owner had increased the rent fee two months ago. but i notice this is kinda too rushing and causing everything became messy!

no preparation at all. this stupid husband is not well planning accordingly. sighs... in fact, he had planned to go travel to Taiwan with his Gundam friends in coming soon. because of purchasing the property recently, that needs a lot of cashes to use for the house including the lawyer fee and etc.

hence, i understood this situation. after used up the saving for the house, he thought he might not going to Taiwan. i was huh....?

i asked him why so?

he said after used up, no more saving...

it sounds like he gives up so fast?

waaa... i can't believe that!

if i were him, i am certain to work harder then to make sure everything is sufficient throughout monthly / yearly after purchasing the house. not to make the family survive together! *touch wood*

can say he is kiasu???

sighs...

xxx

time to plan

time to plan...

fyi, i have been working at my current company for 2 years plus and it doesn't bring much differences for me after years of here. the salary increases a little and it doesn't sufficient for one month though. frankly speaking, every month i get the salary and the salary almost ngam-ngam gone because every daily basics need at least 2k plus to spend! balance of the amount after spend, is insufficient for the another two weeks of end months... do you think it's a good sign? i think it's NOT.

plus, my hubby's job really doesn't give a good promising though. i can't let both of us survive on these amounts from our salaries and we even pick a fight every time we talk about the money. he doesn't contribute some of them for our kids so? doesn't he kiasu though? *faint*

i found something at website, attracted my eyes when looking at this daycare centre, very spacious and colorful... i contacted the owner immediately right after that without any doubts because i am serious about it, plus i had planned to run the daycare centre long time ago. just that the timing and financial are not permitting though... :(

now i can't let it go as it's my GOLD chance to set up my very own although i knew there would be any risks but just believe myself that i can do then everything will goes smoothly... *cross my fingers*


xxx

i hate the smoking very much!!!!!!!

Hello March

time flies so fast, it's March right now. yet i plan anything so far. supposed to leave my current company and starts a new life but it seems bit more difficult for me... why so? ain't this weird? but i strongly decide about this, perhaps. but not now.

any sooner...

oh well. just had celebrated my hubby birthday but it was not fun at all! and he seemed not so excited about his birthday though. as i spoke in previous entry. he didn't like to celebrate his birthday. surprisingly he was happy to be celebrated by his colleagues during in HQ as well as here too. why so? i think he prefers colleagues over family eh? but he has his another friends as well but he seemed not happy about it in the past when we supposed to celebrate his birthday. and now his friends never celebrate nor wish him at all since they knew his style.

bleh... don't know what he thinks. i mentioned once that he removed everything as well as his own page in FB. why so? i don't understand until recently i found that he had created another FB for his own personal specially for those current colleagues of him and he doesn't want his FB page contains about his personal life such like his family, friends etc. no wonder and i find this is rather weird. but is okay. it's his right to do so.

and yesterday i found his FB was fulled of Birthday wishes from his colleagues =_=

i was speechless...

oh well, just ignore since it's none of my business though and he never cares about my thoughts for sure. this is fine. i don't mind and i fed up already for this long time ago. i just live for sake of my children :)

btw, we just had signed the letter of bank from PB yesterday. and now waiting for the lawyer's S & P.

another thing, that i really hate is my current company has created a rule that those staffs who come late,  punch first then parking and go in office later are strictly not allowed to do so! everytime go out and in, must use the access card all the time in order to record the time. otherwise, if late, will be deducted even worse. sighs.

today i feel lazy to work. Saturday Blues anyway...

xxx